Watch
by RedHawkeRevolver
Summary: Hawke and Fenris separately share a moment of guilt.


Watch

Hawke was starting to feel guilty…but not enough to stop staring. She kept an ear tuned to the woods listening for any movement, but she kept both her eyes on the elf in the water. She was fairly certain he could not see her gawking at him from where she was positioned. Anyway, he appeared to be thoroughly engaged in his activity. They had agreed to keep watch for each other so they could have a well deserved bath.

They had been traveling back to Kirkwall after escaping the deep roads. They were all of them filthy, and had been for days. She was covered in blood, sweat, and little pieces of darkspawn and demon. Hawke felt so foul she was certain the spirits in the fade could smell her. It was in this miserable state that Hawke stumbled upon a little Maker-sent stream. It was hidden in a narrow valley behind a few large trees. She had been so excited she began stripping off her leathers on her way back to their camp. She would have waded into the water, armor and all, if she hadn't wanted fetch the cake of soap she had been coveting in her pack. When she came into the clearing with the others, Varric, Anders and Fenris all stopped what they were doing and stared at her. She had one gauntlet off and her boots unlaced. She had already taken down her hair and it fell in tangled disarray around her shoulders. She quickly explained her miraculous discovery and attempted to run back to the stream, cake of soap in hand, when Fenris grabbed her arm.

"Do you mean to strip naked alone in the woods, just so you can bathe?" His voice was rough and deep and she melted a little into his grip. For a moment she just stared stupidly back at him. She saw a hint of playfulness in his eyes. His flirting was getting better, she thought. Was that an offer to join her? Just when she started to feel a little giddy but before she had a chance to flirt back at him, Anders piped up.

"Fenris is right, Hawke, we should go in pairs and we can keep watch for each other. It's safer. After what we just escaped, none of us should be tempting fate any further."

Fenris let go of her arm and turned toward the mage, scowling that special deep scowl that Hawke had come to learn was just for Anders. "And who, exactly, do you think would feel safe with you guarding them, Abomination?"

"Oh, of course! Of course! There is nothing I will ever do to make you trust me, is there? I've saved your skinny arse more than once! And Hawke has never had reason to feel unsafe with me as opposed to the beast that would rip a man's heart out as soon as look at him…"

"I assure you, mage, I have no need of your petty magic…" And with that, Fenris started stalking toward Anders, markings aglow.

A minor fight would have broken out without intervention. Luckily Varric stepped in. Hawke could tell, however, by the conspiratorial glint in his eye that he was helping _her_ more than keeping the two rivals from killing each other.

"Now, now, Broodie, we've been in close quarters for a while. Let's enjoy the open air and wash away some of the tension in Hawke's little stream. Blondie and I will stay here and finish setting up camp, so you just go now with Hawke before she runs off on her own. Look at her, she's desperate…"

Fenris calmed his markings and Anders put down his staff. They both turned towards Hawke, who had taken Varric's cue perfectly. She had both her boots off already, and had put on a sad expectant look, and was sweetly chewing on her lower lip hopefully, cake of soap in hand.

Without taking his eyes from Hawke, Fenris muttered what was likely a frustrated epithet and started walking away from Anders. Anders also turned away, muttering something about stubborn and prejudiced elves. Hawke mouthed a silent _'thank you'_ to Varric and, with a wink and a smile, she turned to follow Fenris.

And that was how she found herself in this delicious position. Her lips curled into a satisfied smile as she watched the skin over the elf's muscles glisten in the moonlight. His long limbs moved with grace and strength. She could almost see how far down his markings went below the surface of the dark water…but not quite. This will have to be good enough for now, she thought. She loved these rare opportunities to observe him when he didn't know she was watching. He looked much less guarded and more comfortable in his skin. His back straightened from the feral crouch he always assumed. His scowl eased a little, but just a little. Hawked sighed in contentment. And as if in response, he sighed also and stretched his arms up. The muscles of his abdomen tightened and Hawke felt her chest tighten at the sight. Maker help her, he was perfect.

She was still grinning to herself in the dark like an idiot when she heard a soft rustle behind her. She turned quickly, and made a dagger ready in her hand. She squinted into the darkness of the woods. She cursed herself silently for being so distracted. She held her breath and a silent moment passed as she waited for more activity from the woods. A hare suddenly shot out from a nearby bush and she relaxed back on her heels. Hawke scolded herself again and the guilt washed over her anew. Fenris had trusted her enough to be here with her and she was taking advantage of his trust. Maker knows it was a struggle earning his trust in the first place and now she felt like she didn't deserve it. She sighed and with not a little disappointment, settled into watching the woods until he was finished.

Fenris felt guilty. He didn't deserve her trust. He angrily scrubbed the crusted blood from his arms with the soap Hawke and given him. Fenris stretched his arms and closed his eyes. In his mind he could still see her smooth pale skin in the moonlight. He imagined the water dripping from her long black hair down her back and to the soft curve of her hips. He licked his lips remembering her full breasts as she turned in the water and unknowingly exposed herself to him. She seemed so innocent in that moment, and with no one else vying for her attention, she seemed so very much…_his._ He dunked his head in the water and shook out his hair, frustrated with himself again. He thought of her right now, diligently keeping watch for him in the woods, and how he had shamelessly watched her, and only her, as she had bathed. A horde of darkspawn could have erupted from the woods and not received so much as a glance from him, so absorbed he had been watching her in the water.

But his guilt was not enough to regret having taken the opportunity to watch her to his heart's content. The more time he spent with her the more he was rewarded and encouraged by her smiles and her soft words and her laughter. The little rogue was cunningly drawing him away from his barriers of distrust with her shameless flirting. At first he tried to keep her at a distance, not really believing that someone like her would be interested in him for any reason. But she kept on him and he began to enjoy how she looked at him. Like he was a man, not a sword, or a slave. Like she was_ his_. Like she was just waiting for him to claim her. And he _wanted_ to possess her. He wanted every inch of her. He wanted all of her for himself. And just those thoughts made him feel fear and guilt at the same time. But he should not be dwelling on these thoughts and he should not be keeping her waiting any longer. He waded out of the stream and got dressed. He had just finished when he saw Hawke approaching him. Her hair was still damp and hung in tendrils around her face. She smiled at him and he nodded at her.

"All finished? Now wasn't that wonderful, Fenris? Don't deny you loved it!"

"You have no idea Hawke…" he mumbled, and he avoided her gaze as he walked past her.

"It _was_ quite the show…" she said under her breath, and giggled guiltily as she followed him back to camp.


End file.
